"Lost My Cool" - A Poem
“Lost My Cool”
Disappointed in myself
I lost my cool
Afraid of what I might do
Uncharacteristic of me
But still part of me
Who am I
When I go to these places
No fear, No reservations
Saying things I later find out
Out of body experience
Not caring whose around
Those little eyes should never see
The little ears should never hear
Those heart beats beating fast
Emotions should never feel
Unfamiliar territory these hearts have never been
Justify and make excuses
But there’s none for this behavior
A powerful force
Not relegated to the flesh that I live in
It’s in these moments
My sickness, I cannot stand
Adrenaline rushes blood going full throttle
Through out all of my veins
Strength unmatched
Words that never should be said
Laughing, taunting
Feeling demon possessed
Wanting more
Push me over the edge
Try me and question me
I’ll give you even more
My energy becomes slave
To a power of the unknown
I cannot say it’s righteous anger
Ashamed that it is evil
Spinning out of control
Becoming aware of the moment I’m in
Wanting to run
Please let me hide
In this state of mind
How could these things
Come spewing out of me
Is this a true reflection of my heart
No one around me
Can I hear
Blocked and somehow
Silenced out
Everything is amplified
All my energy is force
Everyone around
Feels the threat
Try to reason with me
Explain your story
I could care less
If you’re even right
I want to let it out
I can destroy anything around
Overtaking my respect
I lose my dignity
I snap out of it
In the moment
I realize the destruction
Tornado ripped through the sky
No respecter of anything
Feel my wrath
Feel my pain
I’m going to let it out
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Shay's Reflections
