"Layers Upon Layers" - A Poem

“Lost My Cool”  Disappointed in myself I lost my cool Afraid of what I might do Uncharacteristic of me But still part of me Who am I When I go to these places No fear, No reservations Saying things I later find out Out of body experience Not caring whose around Those little eyes should never see The little ears should never hear Those heart beats beating fast Emotions should never feel Unfamiliar territory these hearts have never been Justify and make excuses But there’s none for this behavior A powerful force Not relegated to the flesh that I live in It’s in these moments My sickness, I cannot stand Adrenaline rushes blood going full throttle Through out all of my veins Strength unmatched Words that never should be said Laughing, taunting Feeling demon possessed Wanting more Push me over the edge Try me and question me I’ll give you even more My energy becomes slave To a power of the unknown I cannot say it’s righteous anger Ashamed that it is evil Spinning out of control Becoming aware of the moment I’m in Wanting to run Please let me hide In this state of mind How could these things Come spewing out of me Is this a true reflection of my heart No one around me Can I hear Blocked and somehow Silenced out Everything is amplified All my energy is force Everyone around Feels the threat Try to reason with me Explain your story I could care less If you’re even right I want to let it out I can destroy anything around Overtaking my respect I lose my dignity I snap out of it In the moment I realize the destruction Tornado ripped through the sky No respecter of anything Feel my wrath Feel my pain I’m going to let it out